I Ching Explanantion

I Ching Reading Hexagrams Chart and Instructions

Click Here to buy translation by Brian Browne Walker

Hexagrams Chart:
Here is the chart to consult after you roll your 3 coins 6 times.  Remember, Heads is worth 3 and tails is assigned a value of 2.  After each roll, add up your coin values.  If you have an even sum, draw a broken line.  For an odd sum, draw a solid line.  Draw your first line on the bottom and work your way upwards.  After all 6 coin rolls have been completed and all 6 corresponding lines have been drawn, you may consult the chart.  Find the match for your top 3 lines on the horizontal axis along the top of the chart.  Next, find your bottom trigram (3 lines) in the horizontal axis on the lefthand side of the chart.  Now, find the number at the intersection of your 2 trigrams and watch the corresponding video!  Have fun!

I Ching Readings - 64 Videos

Heaven Sent

On a gray Monday last February, the morning announcements start, as usual, with, "Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance..." I turn on my heels, mid-sentence, to face the loudspeaker, placing my hand over my heart.  The students dutifully hoist themselves up out of their seats.  Behind me, I hear a few exaggerated groans that imply, “too much effort on a Monday morning,” along with whispered accounts of the week-end gossip.  "I don't even like living in America!" Neveah practically shouts as everyone begins to recite.  I shoot her the teacher glare of disapproval, trying to convey, "We WILL talk about this as soon as the announcements are over," with my furrowed brow and exasperated head snap.  The minute the loudspeaker quiets, I launch into an explanation of how many boys and girls around the world would do anything for an education.  I then point out that women must be especially grateful to live in America, explaining that this country affords more freedom and opportunity to our sex than most places around the globe.

From that day, until the end of the school year, I regularly address the difficult living conditions and lack of education, as well as deplorable treatment of women in other countries.  Occasionally, I preface the segment by saying, "Some people may not appreciate living in the US, but let's take a look at what life is like in...." At this, the students in the class would all turn and look at Neveah and she would grin, replying to the accusatory glares with, “What y’all lookin’ at me for?”  She knew better than to say what she had, but she did it anyway.  I wanted to open her eyes to the world around her, not realizing how she would open mine. 

Photo taken by Kimmie Fadem

School got off to a rough start last year.  The Missouri Supreme Court decision to allow school transfers caused controversy throughout the St. Louis metropolitan area.  My son was starting kindergarten and we live in one of the two districts chosen to accommodate the majority of those transfer students.  As a teacher, I know how hard it is for kids to learn in overfull classrooms.  I was relieved when I found out that my son's school was already at capacity and would not be able to accept any kids from out of district.  I just want the best for my children.  Overflowing classrooms are not good for anyone, I reasoned with the voice in my head that asked, “how is your child more deserving than any other?”   

I teach middle school French in the district neighboring most closely the one where I live.  While most of my 7^th graders were excited to talk about croissants and French fashion, Neveah would blurt out things like, "Why are we doing this?" and "I don't even want to learn French!”  My mom instincts sensed how badly she wanted my attention, so it didn’t register as disrespectful.  The other students would roll their eyes, or flat out ask her, "Then, why did you sign up for this class?"  Since they had taken care of the obvious questions, I would just smile and gently tease, “France has the world’s best food and shopping, how could anyone not want to speak French?” She softened immediately, smiling down bashfully at her desk.  I decided not to call her bluff by pointing out the carefully organized notes she kept.  Acting tough was her security blanket.  I thought of my son on one of his rough days, how he heads straight to his room to retrieve “Big Brownie” and then comes out to the couch, asking me to wrap him up tight. 

May 6, 2014 I learned that the Missouri Senate overrode Governor Nixon’s veto of Bill 509.  I had barely finished reading the e-mail before I was on my feet, running down to my colleague and Union rep’s classroom.  In a panic, I burst through his door exclaiming, “Missouri Senate Bill 509!  It passed.  They overrode the veto, again, this time it’s gonna stick!  Shit!  I just don’t know why anyone would think it’s a good idea to cut money from schools.  This is where our kids are being formed into the people who will take over the society, the world, WE all have to inhabit!  I’m so sick of the short-sighted politics that rob from our future to line a few greedy pockets.”  His eyes sparkled up over the reading glasses that bridge his nose midway down.  He’s in his early 50’s, a life-long 7^th grade English teacher who loves his job.  He emanates zen.  After thirty years teaching middle school, he didn't blink at my hysterical entrance.  He responded with the articulate panache of a million dollar attorney rendered even more charming by his surfer’s diction. “Yeah, you’ve got to send letters to your representative.  Look up “NEA, Senate Bill 509,” sign your name to their form letter and e-mail it off.  There will probably be litigation to slow it down or tie it up.  Worse case scenario, it won’t go into effect for a couple of years, at least.”  I started to feel a little better and then he added.  “You know, the wealthier county districts like this one won’t be affected nearly as much as the poorer ones.  We get so much money from our residential tax base that we defer most of our state money.”  Relief flooded over me even as an insidious thought surfaced.  “What about Normandy and Riverview Gardens?  They’re already in such financial turmoil.”

“It’ll be bad for them,” he conceded with a sigh. “This is why advocacy is so important.”  

St. Louis School budgets before and after Senate Bill 509 takes effect

The school year ended and my concerns faded like black top in the hot Summer sun.  The 2014-2015 school year started on August 12 at my school.  Michael Brown was shot and killed the Saturday night before our first day of classes.  I didn’t see Neveah in French 2, though she was on the roster.  Then, on Thursday morning, I saw her while I waited in line at the drinking fountain.  The hallways swarmed with teenage angst, but I noticed right away that she had grown taller.  She stood with her shoulders rolled forward, arms crossed over her belly.  Her posturing diminished her height and effortless beauty, communicating acute self-doubt, the opposite of laziness.  She blustered up to the line, “I’m gonna strangle someone!”  

“Just do it now!” joked the band director, Mr. Stevens, before bending down for his drink.  Taking his cue, I laugh and chime in, “Just put us out of our misery, right?” and go down for my turn as Mr. Stevens straightened, asking, “What’s wrong Neveah?”  She played the clarinet, so, like me, he knew that a hint of kindness easily defeated her anger.  By the time I stand back up, all bravado drained from her voice and she answered softly,“My stomach hurts,” eyes darting across the floor to avoid mine.  “Did you eat breakfast?” My standard question when students complain about minor ailments first thing in the morning.  “Naw” a bit of fight returning with her answer.  I readjust my approach, “Do you want a cereal bar?” I try to sound motherly, hoping for kind and concerned, not bossy or patronizing.  “That’s aight.”  she said, walking away, leaving me to mourn the sight of her true potential.  

Neveah  made me look at my white privilege.  Once I did, I realized how many other instances there had been. For example, Michael Brown’s Mom, Leslie McSpadden, graduated from my high school alma mater, Ladue, in 1998.  She and many others participated in Voluntary Interdistrict Choice (VICC), which reached its peak in the mid 1990s.  VICC still exists today, but Ladue, the wealthiest Public County school, no longer participates.  I had no idea that Mike Brown's Mom and I went to High School together until hearing it in the news after his death.  Also, despite knowing better, I still felt relief when my son’s school turned away transfer students in August 2013.  Next, I should have, but didn't object to Missouri Senate Bill 509 since it minimally impacted the schools in my neighborhood.   Finally, watching my smart, beautiful student shoulder the weight of my casually discarded burdens made me realize.  Looking backwards at Neveah, I now see who was teaching all along.    

One of many murals on boarded up businesses in Ferguson